The Thought of Losing You
by LadyStarblade
Summary: A possible explanation for Travis's lack of anything to do. Tucker/Reed and Archer/Mayweather *slash*.


Title: The Thought of Losing You  
Author: Lady Starblade - ladystarblade@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG  
Pairing: Tu/R, A/M (yes, you read right!)  
Category: Angst/Romance  
Spoilers: "Dead Stop"  
Warnings: None  
Archive: EntSlash; anyone else, ya want it, you got it, just tell me where.  
Feedback: File that one under the "duh" category  
Disclaimer: I own none of the Enterprise characters. Paramount does. And someone's making a lot of money, but not me, and not with this fic.  
  
Author's Note: Here's something new with a uncon pairing. Enjoy! (I hope. My mind's pretty gone at this point. Long day.)  
  
Summary: A possible explanation for Travis's lack of anything to do.  
  
**  
  
Travis Mayweather let out a heavy sigh as he pushed his tray away from him. He just couldn't do justice to Chef's talent tonight. Leaning back in his chair, Travis rubbed his hands over his eyes. The last two weeks had been frustrating ones, and he was at a loss as to how to deal with it.   
  
"Why the long face, Travis?" Travis's eyes snapped open as Trip Tucker settled himself into the chair across from him. Malcolm Reed hovered at the engineer's elbow, an apologetic look on his face. "I hope we're not interrupting."  
  
"No, no." Travis waved Malcolm down to the third seat.  
  
"You look like somethin's gnawing at you pretty good. Somethin' on your mind?" Malcolm winced a bit at Trip's bluntness. "That is, if you want to talk about it." Travis marveled at the way their personalities clashed yet meshed at the same time.  
  
The two men stared back at him, one expectant, the other wary. Travis could feel the words bubbling up and pouring out despite his attempts to stop them.  
  
"He won't let me do anything! I just sit on the bridge, punching commands into the helm. I didn't do much of anything before, but ever since that repair station tried to..." He cast about for a suitable phrase "...suck my brains out, he's done everything but lock me in my cabin to keep me out of harm's way." The bitter tone twisted the last six words into an uncharacteristic snarl.   
  
Trip puckered his lips in a silent whistle. "Hoo boy. I think I see where this is going." He threw a look over his shoulder to the nearly empty mess hall. "But before we do, I gotta make a run at the dessert table..." The puppy-like expression on Trip's face dissolved Travis's rising anger.  
  
"No, it's okay. I don't want to stand between you and Chef's pecan pie. Go ahead."  
  
Flashing a quick smile, Trip jumped up and trotted over to the dispensary.  
  
"I know how the Captain feels." Malcolm's voice was soft as he watched his lover move away.  
  
"You do?" Travis asked.  
  
Malcolm slowly nodded. "Yes. Just the thought of losing Trip terrifies me." And as he turned back around, Travis could see a flash of the fear Malcolm held inside. "When I know he's in trouble, or when I don't know what's happening to him, every second becomes an hour, every heartbeat a lifetime, and every breath an eternity. Life without him..." A faint shudder ran through Malcolm's shoulders as Travis looked away, unable to take seeing the emotions in the armory officer's eyes.  
  
A dry chuckle made him look up. Malcolm was running a hand over his own eyes while shaking his head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on like that. I'm just tired, I suppose. But," his tone became serious again, "I can't seem to tell him that outright. And I'll bet the Captain has the same problem telling you. He needs to learn what I learned."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"That you can't keep the one you love sheltered all of the time."  
  
"The tighter you yank on a horse's reins, the more likely he's gonna buck." Trip plopped back down in his chair with his prize. "Got the last piece." Gesturing with his fork, he asked, "You guys want some?"  
  
Travis shook his head while Malcolm replied, "Well, not of the pie." The two men shared a look so intimate Travis felt like a voyeur just watching it.  
  
"Yeah, the first time Malcolm tried to "protect" me, I told him exactly what he could do with it."  
  
"Ah, and as I recall, you displayed an unusual creativity with your word choice."  
  
Trip smirked and popped a forkful of pie into his mouth. Chewing thoughtfully for a minute, he said, "The two of you are gonna have to talk about it. You've gotta tell him he can't be protectin' you against everything we run into. He can be a little dense sometimes, but you can show him."  
  
"Just tell him and then just be stubborn." Both men's heads bobbed at Malcolm's comment in an eerie reflection of each other.  
  
"Yeah, yeah okay. I will. Right now." Travis bounced up, renewed purpose on his face as he made for the mess hall door. "Thanks!" He called back over his shoulder.  
  
Trip stopped chewing as he and Malcolm exchanged an incredulous glance. "Was I ever that obvious?" Trip asked.  
  
"Heart on your sleeve, love."  
  
**  
  
Malcolm and Trip walked down the corridor, Malcolm unconsciously matching the other man's stride. Trip repressed a grin at that and asked a question instead. "So what did ya say to Travis that gave him that poleaxed look?"  
  
Without thinking, Malcolm replied, "That if anything happened to you, it would kill me."  
  
Trip stopped, and Malcolm continued on for several steps before he realized it. He halted and turned around to meet a gaze of part confusion, part surprise.  
  
"I'm sorry," Malcolm said. "My mouth doesn't seem to be connected to my mind tonight."  
  
Still with an odd expression, Trip resumed walking until they reached his quarters. Malcolm smiled slightly as he turned to go. "Goodnight Trip."  
  
"Malcolm, c'mere for a minute, would ya?"  
  
He meekly followed his lover inside. Keeping his back to Malcolm, Trip moved to the nearby control panel and brought up the lights.   
  
He then spun suddenly. "What did ya mean by that?"  
  
Malcolm didn't need to ask what Trip meant. Looking down, he whispered, "I haven't been able to say it, but sometimes it scares me how much I love you. The thought of losing you..."  
  
Trip cut him off. "Don't think that, Mal. I'm gonna be around a long while. You're not gonna lose me." He pulled Malcolm to him, wrapping one arm around his waist and burying his other hand in the dark hair. "You won't." Trip murmured vehemently in his ear.  
  
**  
  
Travis pushed the call button on the wall outside Jonathan Archer's quarters. He told himself not to fidget, but couldn't keep himself from shifting his weight from foot to foot as he waited. "Come in."  
  
He sounded distracted, and for a moment, Travis considered leaving the confrontation for another day. But his pride kicked back in to propel him through the door. The captain was sitting at his console, frowning over a scrolling report. Porthos, on the other hand, leapt from his place on the bed to happily jump around Travis's feet.  
  
"Porthos..." The warning went unheeded as Travis crouched down to greet the beagle.  
  
"Hey fella, how are you?" Porthos's tail whipped wildly back and forth as he yipped in response.  
  
"Porthos, leave Travis alone for a minute." Travis looked up to see a different pair of dark eyes fixed on him. "I wasn't expecting you drop by, but I'm not going to complain."  
  
Travis straightened and drew a deep breath. "Jon, we need to talk."  
  
END 


End file.
